Kelly Gibbons, artist and writer, about me

Friday, February 27, 2004

Boy do I feel silly about that last post. I almost erased it, but I left it there because I think it has meaning.

I spent the afternoon re-reading some of my archives and I have discovered some patterns and other things about myself:

1. When I don't have paying work I PANIC. I tell myself I am not going to but I do anyway and then my post turn into "I'm not going to write, I'm not a good writer, I'm going to find a job..."
2. When I am in this mode, everything around me breaks down (equipment). I find this very odd because it makes me feel like I'm living with some possessed objects that read my moods. Freaky!
3. I am usually cheered up by an email from an unexpected source .
4. When everything is falling apart (or so I think), something really good happens . Thank you Angela for pointing that out.
5. I give great advice to others but have a hard time following my own advice.
6. I am very hard on myself.
7. It is easy for me to see the good in everyone else.
8. I would have made a damn good cheerleader and I'm a bit upset that I wasn't picked!
9. Fridays are my melt down day. Almost every Friday I freak out. I think it's because I take stock on Monday and when I see that I didn't accomplish anything or that no one responded to me I freak out. I wonder if other creative types have a certain day of the week where they melt down.
10. I have a very hard time accepting that good things are supposed to happen for me. I believe that everyone else deserves good things but I have a hard time believing I do. I'm shocked when something good happens to me and I usually downplay it or sabotage myself.

I'm sure there are more, but I'm giving up at 10. I think I have enough to work with there. Have a wonderful weekend everyone and thank you to everyone for their nice comments--they mean the world to me.

posted by Kelly @ 2/27/2004 02:02:00 PM

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