Kelly Gibbons, artist and writer, about me

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Nov. 15, 2003
Last night I was so tired, and I couldn't figure out why. I thought I didn't do anything.
Then I began thinking about what I did this week. I completed and submitted two articles. I exceeded my web research quota. I got this website up and running and I kept up with all the normal day to day stuff. Not bad, I guess I was busier than I thought.
Thinking about this made me realize that I have been making some mistakes that I thought I wouldn't make because I had read so much about them before I decided to pursue this dream of writing. These are things I'm going to stop doing--or at least try hard not to do:
I am not going to down play my accomplishments
ex1. I wrote an article, took pictures to go along with it, and it was published. I earned $35 for this and I was so excited. It was the very first article I ever submitted and all at once I was a published writer and photographer and I was paid for it. Then I started saying stuff like, "I wrote an article, but I didn't get paid a lot and it was only published in a local weekend magazine." Well guess what I wrote and article, it was published, and I was paid. That is quite an accomplishment!
ex2. I created this page. I worked very hard, but I keep calling it"just my homepage" and saying it's "not a real web page". If you saw the first draft of it you to would realize how far I've come. Last week I had no idea how to use an FTP and this week you are reading this--well you might be if I learn to share. If you are viewing this from the internet than it is a web page even if it isn't www dot something.
I have to stop worrying about everyone else
I started doing this for the right reasons. It was what I wanted to do. I knew it was going to be hard but I also knew that I was going to be happy doing it. This is for me, and no one else. Hopefully people will like some of what I've done. I have read things that I don't like.
I have to stop trying so hard
Good things will come, I have already experienced some of this, but sometimes I have trouble waiting for them, and I try too hard. Then I end up feeling miserable because it doesn't happen as I expected. Looking back, I see that the best things have come when I just put things out there and let it happen. When I PUSH things they come out all wrong--I send email that I later regret because they sound so stupid, I write things that I don't like or I can't write because I block myself before I begin.
And this is what I am going to do more of:
I am going to have more fun
I don't want this to turn out like every other job I've had. With me loving it in the beginning and then disliking it so much in the end that I wonder why I ever wanted to do it. It took me a long time to figure out that I wanted to be a writer, and that I could be a writer. I don't want to blow this. If I decide I don't want to be a writer anymore, I want it to be because I found something else I want to be more, not because I don't like doing it.

This is me...Ready or Not, Here I come!

posted by Kelly @ 11/15/2003 01:33:00 PM

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