Kelly Gibbons, artist and writer, about me

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Nov. 26, 2003
This started out as great great day. It's not anymore. I left the house a few hours ago to drop off work. I was in a great mood because I had gotten so much work done, and I was thinking about how much I like Thanksgiving, and how wonderful it is to be working at home. Ideas were flowing through my head for stories to write, and I had decided to work on writing this afternoon instead of my other work. Letting your mind dance and fill with ideas while driving a car is notthe best idea. The policeman that pulled me over for speeding didn't think so either.

I was and I still am so upset about this. How could I be so stupid! I want to be mad at the officer, how dare he pull me over, it's the day before Thanksgiving, but I can't. He was just doing his job. I was wrong. I was the one speeding. UGH! Why did I have to get caught. LOL.

I am not sure how to take this. I always ask for signs to let me know if I'm on the right track. Is this a sign? I have been worrying about money lately, questioning if I did the right thing. Is this the universes way of saying, "Go get a real job, it pays more. You're gonna need it for things like this!" I don't want money to be the thing that holds me back, but I don't like feeling this way either. When I had a steady income I would have been upset, but I would not have let it bother me this much. This makes me question if I am really ready to pursue the freelance life style.

This morning I was so happy about my choices and so confident. If one little setback is going to make me feel like this, I think I should re-think things.

Then I start to think that this is Mr. Doubter again, but in a different form. I am being tested to see if I am strong enough to do this.

What am I going to do? Sit here and cry the rest of the day. No. I am going to accept this for what it is, another dumb mistake, and move on. I am going to pay the fine, roll up my sleeves, and write a great story. I am going to submit that story and earn money. This isn't that bad.

I don't really feel like doing this right now, but I will. I feel much better now then I did when I sat down to write this. Hmm, maybe that's a sign.

posted by Kelly @ 11/26/2003 04:45:00 PM

0 Comments: